Burned Message - a 10min Supernatural Drama

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alexhunter3d
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Joined: Jul 4 2006

Hi,

"Burned Message" is my 10 minute supernatural drama. My previous effort was "Curry Head " a 2 minute short inspired by 80s horror B movies, that I posted on this board a while back. Since then, I have started a course in film making and this film has been done a part of it.

It is a ghost story involving love, jealousy and murder. The ghost of a dead mans wife returns from the grave to give him an important message, which his brother holds the key to. It is a message of truth to stop a wrong destructive belief her husband has been led to believe.

It was shot in HD on the Z1, with some shots filmed in SD on a PD170 with anamorphic lens. The PD170 gave the look I wanted for the last few shots. I edited in standard def in Premiere Pro and used Digital Fusion for some of the effects.

I still got a lot to learn so let me know what you think. Looking forward to any crits.

You can watch it on YouTube here:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=rCsxk55e-Ro

mhh
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Joined: Apr 7 2006

Hi Alex,

I enjoyed that. It was very nicely put together with good pacing and structure. You have a very good eye for composition and blocking of a scene. The choice of music was also excellent although the change near the end to a rhythmic beat felt out of place.

The framework of the plot was well developed but you need to work on the dialogue next time. Some of it seemed forced and unnatural. Employment of better actors would help with the delivery. This is just constructive feedback that I hope might help. All in all though a quality production.

alexhunter3d
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Joined: Jul 4 2006

Thanks MHH for your feedback. I agree with your comments on the acting, though ok could be better. Ill do proper auditions of as many actors I can get hold of for my next film. Was there any particular actors/performances that you thought were weak? Are you working on anything new yourself?

:)

Rob James
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Joined: Jun 26 2001

Hi Alex,

I enjoyed it as well. I think you could have done the "master shot and close ups" better in the restaurent, eye lines etc. I thought there were too many of the fade to colour transitions and it didn't need them. The sound was good and the YouTube rendition is one of the best I've seen. It would help others if you posted your compression settings/method prior to submission.

In summary, good ideas, mostly well executed. Keep at it and festival success will come soon.

Rob The picture is only there to keep the sound in sync

mhh
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Joined: Apr 7 2006

We're currently in the pre-production stage of a 30 min short provisionally entitled "Existential Uncle".

I must admit I thought all the performances were weak to some extent but this wasn't helped by some clunky dialogue. The overall structure and the quality of the filmmaking was what made it work. You have a real talent behind the camera but it has to be supported by more convincing acting and more natural, refined dialogue. These are the areas you need to work on in my opinion. Others may disagree. I look forward to seeing your next production.

Neon Films
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Joined: Aug 23 2000

Hi Alex,

Well done a great short. How have you found the ananorphic adapter?

I would agree with the other comments. The things that stood out mostly were the colour transitions, I think they detracted from the story slightly. I think everyone who makes low budget films has difficulty getting dialogue to sound natural.

I liked the story, and I think the flasbacks worked well.

If you need any more crew on your next short I'd be interested in helping out. What film course are you on?

Mark Smith

Leeds Media Services
Video Production in Leeds and Yorkshire

alexhunter3d
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Joined: Jul 4 2006

MHH - thanks for your honest feedback. I do appreciate it. I'm looking forward to seeing your new film as I like your work.

Neon Films - Hi Mark. The adapter worked out fine, but did twist a bit leaving very slight dark corners which I managed to fix in post. I'll get in touch with you soon. Developing a 25 min thriller at the moment.