Life!

Beautiful. I am not sure about the music, which I liked, but it distracted me from the picture. I would like to see it with something less dramatic but full marks for the vision. Nice to see some none wedding stuff from you.

I get a bit of jerkiness when playing downloaded HD. Its not the download speed (10mbs) and it shouldn't be the computer, which although not superfast handles my own HD stuff alright.

Look forward to more of the same.

Some gorgeous shots and colours in there Jon. Nice treatment!
I know how I'd like to see it, but only if you have time. Cutting out the zoomy, unsteady and wavy shots, concentrating purely on the solid framed, pans and tilts with just a hint of pull focus. I know it would need a different track, but for me . . . a major leap in watchability.

Sorry... got bored half way through. Will watch the second part later.

............................................:o :o :o

Some beautiful imagery Jon... I loved the opening bee shot and some superb colourization and grading. However, I felt you were being far too 'literal' to the point of illustration of the lyrics of the track. I would have had you do a complete re-edit if it was a piece being completed for me.

For example "Beyond the horizon..." - you have a couple of second 'horizon shot', "...down the causeway" - show a 'causeway shot', "...that followed in our footsteps" - you show a 'footprint shot', "...the myriad small creatures" - shot of small creatures, "the grass was greener" - shot of greenery etc. see what I mean? There is far too much of this. Some is fine, but there is an overwhelming amount; all the examples I have given are in the first 90 seconds.

Whilst it works in some places you certainly do not need to illustrate all the lyrics in the song... can you imagine what a lot of music videos would end up being like if that formula was followed? All the images are valid, it's just not a good flowing edit for me :)
the cuts to the music were good however.

Thx so much for some great feedback:)

I think vimeo is the culprit of the jerkiness sometimes!

I forgot to add it was all shot handheld with my HC1 which can be a nightmare to hold steady because of it's light weight and size, but it's all I had.

Great advice Chrome.:)

My wife pointed this out to me too!

My wife is making me do a re-edit.....:) have you been talking to my wife!:D

She also told me I need to change the track. I don't like agreeing with her, but I guess I must on this occasion:D

Maybe use a lighter track, I had thoughts of a poem vocally over it:confused:

Cheers,

Flame.

We have done a complete re-edit on the clip after Chromes post!:)

Hope it's had some effect!

Comments appreciated.

Cheers,

Flame.

http://www.vimeo.com/4798085

Hi J. INCREDIBLY jerky playback for me and the poem almost killed your beautiful footage. Such an overexposed poem and read in a cringeworthy monotone! I had to switch off the audio till it was over! Instrumental music OK'ish but camerawork is superb! - Karrie

Hi Karrie:)

Thx for the feedback and kind comments, that was quick!:)

I like her voice:o and I have a soft spot for pink floyd music tracks:cool:

Cheers,

Flame.

Soz - ex-Performing Arts teacher, so I've hears that poem so many times and really hate monotone voices with a passion. Guess you have the advantage of picturing the speaker too? ;) (No questions asked!) Loved your foreground framing, camera angles and use of pulled focus though.

Hi Karrie,

I am sure your right about the poem:)

I will most probably remove all but one verse, the first, and then let the mood of the music carry the visuals!

I must keep one verse of the poem to keep the peace:D

Link here to save going to page 1!: http://www.vimeo.com/4798085

Cheers,

Flame.

It's probably the first verse which is most famous and therefore predictable. ry using a mid section few lines perhaps? Definitely wouldn't use the first 2 lines!

John, I get "password protected" from Vimeo?

Sorry! should be ok now.

Cheers,:)

Flame

Argh! I'm always too late. It's gone.